Charrul Malik On Relationships: People Are Not Willing To Be Patient

“I feel like people nowadays are not willing to be patient; everyone wants shortcuts, and in everything, people have started weighing each other. Nowadays, friendships are formed based on what someone can do for us, and we tend to have expectations like, ‘What will this person do for me? What purpose does this person serve for me?’ If someone is beneficial to us, then we’re willing to engage; otherwise, we question why we should even remember or associate with them,” she says.

She adds, “This mindset is not healthy, but I’ve realised that it’s prevalent in the industry as well. I’ve observed many people, even in the news media, who lack patience. Patience often runs out when we have expectations that aren’t met, and impatience sets in. The same trend seems to be extending into relationships. We’re now trying to build relationships where there’s something for us, some benefit. However, when it comes to benefits, they often turn out to be fake. That’s when impatience, aggressiveness, doubts, and manipulation come into play. Relationships have become quite complex, and they require time and effort. If we genuinely care about something, I don’t think it feels like an effort; those are the relationships that work effortlessly. In life, I believe true relationships require effort and dedication, and they can’t thrive without them.”

Even friendship needs time and should happen naturally, she says, adding, “I don’t believe that you have to do anything special to build relationships. It should happen naturally, and when a connection is formed from the heart, there’s no need for extra effort. In mature relationships, where people understand each other, the need for constant effort diminishes. Instead, the focus should be on being true, loyal, and avoiding manipulation or dishonesty. Where efforts are required, it should be about making the other person happy, considering their feelings and expectations."

"I believe that a relationship works best when it’s effortless. Effort should only be necessary when it comes to understanding each other, supporting growth, caring for each other’s well-being, and genuinely thinking positively about one another. It’s not about pretending, hiding, or lying to avoid conflict. A relationship flourishes when there’s a strong connection, even if there are fewer conversations. It’s about being solid for each other, contributing positively to each other’s lives, and always thinking well of one another. Superficial friendships or fake relationships won’t lead you anywhere good. If you engage in relationships with such people, you might end up looking foolish and regretful,” she concludes.